Remember
by TheDandelion
Summary: DMHG [oneshot] Hermione wanted to forget, but nostalgia was killing her, do she decided to face everything she was afraid of remembering.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything.

**A/N:** This is another one shot written by me, it's sad and from Hermione's POV and the words in _italic_ are flashbacks.

I folded the white clothes neatly and placed them on my bed, then put my hands on my hip and tried to think of the reason why I had folded them. I grabbed them again and went outside.The setting sun threw long shadows and the wind kept blowing and spreading the clothes' scent everywhere,

_His musky scent_...

I held my breath and didn't draw anymore of _that_ scent in my lungs so I wouldn't remember telling him how he smelled nice.

Then I dug a little hole in the ground and threw the folded clothes in it unceremoniously. The trees in the garden were bent almost double by the gust, and the gust had filled the small hole with yellow leaves and I covered the leaves with soil. I just wanted to forget...

Then I went back into the house and sat on my favorite chair near the window in the living room. I sat there for some hours and tried not to think about anything particular.

Untill I heard a thunder.

_Rain..._

I held my breath again so I wouldn't take in the intoxicating aroma of wet soil, and remember that night, on that hill, when he asked me...

_You think it's gonna rain tonight?_

_The sky was about to cry._

"It's gonna rain tonight."

I muttered to the blank wall before me, and I felt tears well in my eyes, _again._

I laced my fingers around my throat and squeezed it tightly untill I could feel the living pulse thrumming through it.

This was the only way I found useful to subside the pain clutching to my heart momentarily.

Then I closed my eyes and went to the window and pulled the heavy drapes blindly over the scene outside.

I didn't want to see the rain, so I wouldn't remember that night, on that hill, when we sang together...

"It's raining..." I whispered in the heavy drapes.

Then I went back to my chair and flopped on it and tried to think of a hot, steaming cup of coffee but my mind kept going back to that day...

It was their fault, those damned raindrops' fault, they kept splashing on my window and making so much noise...

Which reminded me of...

I stood up abruptly and ran to my kitchen, and then upstairs, and to my room. Then I jumped on my bed and laughed out loud. The dry sound of my laughter resonated in the room and blocked the sound of raindrops for a fleeting second.

I quieted down immediately and stared at my wand on my desk and my heart squeezed in my chest. I stood up again and marched out of my room, trying to make as much noise as I could to interfere the gentle tapping of raindrops. I wanted to forget...

Then I got to my kitchen and engaged myself in the process of brewing coffee. The coffee was ready sooner than ever, I grasped the cup and walked to my living room and sat on my chair again.

And tried to drown myself in the small cup...

Another crack of thunder...

_You think it's gonna rain tonight?_

_The sky was about to cry._

"It's raining, it's raining." I said cheerfully, a little too much cheerfully, then drinked the hot coffee in one gulp.

I looked around my living room, trying to find something interesting so I wouldn't rememberhis stormy eyes, staring into mine. And his pale hands seizing my cold ones...

I screamed and quieted down immediately.

Then I screamed again and quieted down immediately.

I laced my fingers around my throat and squeezed it. I wanted to forget...

But to no avail...

I couldn't get his face out of my mind.

Everywhere I went, everything I saw...

The air I breathed...

The ground I stood on...

They all bore his traces.

Another crack of thunder...

"Are you calling me?" I asked the blank wall.

"I can't come to you, I'm going to... to... shop!" I threw the cup away and ran upstairs, to my room and grabbed my bag and my cloak hurridly. My hand hovered over my wand. Then I decided that I was not going to Diagon Ally, so I wouldn't remember _him_ insulting me in the bookstore...

I sprang downstairs and went to the door leading to the garden. Then I stopped dead in my track...

I had to get across the garden to reach my car.

In the rain...

_You think it's gonna rain tonight?_

_The sky was about to cry._

"Then we'll wait untill the rain ends." I explained to the door. Then I went back to the living room and sat on my chair near the window. I started fidgeting and playing with the hem of my heavy cloak.

Then I thought of watching TV, I squealed happily and turned on the TV and surfed through the channels, but I couldn't get myself to watch anything.

Everything reminded me of _him_ and it was driving me crazy.

"I'm not crazy." I scolded the TV, then turned it off.

The weather was getting worse, I could hear the whistle of the wind shattering the eerie silence of my house...

_If it rains much more, we can expect some flooding..._

_And then he laughed..._

I could hear his laughter.

He was laughing at me.

He was insulting me, taunting me...

Praising me, worshipping me...

I didn't want to remember that time when he laughed at my hair, and then he smelled it and said that it smelled like peach...

So I got up and ran to my bathroom. When I entered the bathroom, he was there, staring at me from behind the mirror.

I took in a sharp breath.

_Why are you crying Hermione?_

"I'm not crying!" I shouted at the mirror.

_We're safe here, don't worry..._

"But we weren't, liar!" I shouted again.

Then I looked at my reflection in the mirror, tired, tired, tired...

Sorrow had lined my face.

I was ugly.

I ran out of the bathroom, and to the upstair and then to my room. The sound of my running footsteps resonated in my empty house.

I closed the door and leaned on it, like I was trying to keep it close to stop him from entering my room. I wanted to forget...

But the music of the rain...

"I'm not crazy." I explained to the emptiness of my room.

I'm just lonely... and my loneliness...

"Is killing me." I muttered again. Yes, that was all, I was dying out of lonliness, not because you weren't with me... no... not at all.

So I could run to a friend and suffocate the loneliness in the sound of our laughter when they tell me a joke.

But the thing is, I have no friends left. You were the last one and... the best one...

_Hermione... don't you believe me? It's safe... no one knows of this hill._

I believed you, I believed every word you say, I even believed your lies.

So why don't you leave me alone? Why don't you want me to forget?

I got up slowly and went to my window and pulled the heavy drapes away.

And I stared at the rainfall.

_Hermione... don't cry, do you see the rain? It's beautiful..._

"Yeah... it's beautiful..." I muttered to the cold glass.

I want to go in the rain...

I want to dig that hole again, and take out your clothes...

And hug them and get lost in your musky scent.

I want to remember, I want to live with your memories...

So I ran out of my room and to the garden. Raindrops splashed on my body as I ran to the newly dug graves.

I dug the ground again and pulled the wet clothes out of the hole,

And hugged them and got lost in their musky scent.

Tears came streaming down my face, but I didn't wipe them away, because I wanted to remember that night, on that hill, when we sat together...

_"You think it's gonna rain tonight?"_

_The sky was about to cry._

_"It's gonna rain tonight" I whispered in your ear._

_And the rain came falling down on us._

_"If it rains much more, we can expect some flooding..."_

_you laughed and I lauhghed along with you._

_"Why are you crying Hermione?"_

_"I'm not crying!" But lying to you was impossible._

_"We're safe here, don't worry..." I couldn't help crying._

_"Hermione... don't you believe me? It's safe... no one knows of this hill."_

_"I believe you..." You embraced me and I got lost in your musky scent._

_"Hermione... don't cry, do you see the rain? It's beautiful..."_

_"Yeah... it's beautiful..." I muttered in your chest._

_"Here they are!" A man shouted..._

_And a green curse hit you before I could do anything, and you died and flew away, with your stormy eyes staring into mine and your pale hands seizing my cold ones..._

_They captured me and locked me up in a jail, then they tortured me but I never spoke a word, I never said anything about Grimmuald Place, our haven..._

_But they kept asking, and the last torture was the worst, they tortured you instead._

_I knew you were dead, I knew you couldn't feel the pain, but seeing you..._

_But seeing you like that broke me..._

_Killed me..._

_They stripped you of your clothes, then your father sat on your bare chest and broke your neck..._

_And he did everything to you and made you a bloody pulp._

_Then they wrapped you in a cloth, and I saw your stormy eyes, watching me silently..._

_Were you trying to appreciate me? Or encouraging me to keep my mouth shut?_

_I didn't say anything, I couldn't say anything, I was muted by your eyes._

_They locked me up in the jail again, but the day after, what was left of the order came and rescued me._

_When I was going out of that dungeon, I saw your musky scented clothes and brought them along with me..._

_And I smelled them, they still had their musky scent._

**The End.**

**A/N: **Hope you enjoyed it, let me know what you think, ok?

**TheDandelion**


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